What is real inner confidence? As a Sydney Life Coach and Confidence Coach with over 20 years experience, this is a question I am asked frequently by my clients!
Many of us believe that being confident is about being an extrovert, the life and soul of the party or that person that always seems comfortable being assertive, regardless of the circumstances or the people around them.
Real Inner Confidence
However, for me, real inner confidence is finding your own personal confidence preferences . This can mean different things to different people. Granted, for some people it is about being a confident public speaker or feeling comfortable to speak up at work or confident in a crowd.
However, for many of us, real confidence is about learning to say no to other peoples requests (such as the boss asking you to work late) backing yourself when you feel fearful, encouraging yourself to honour your own important needs in life and being ok with turning down requests to do things for other people. (Note and not feeling guilty about it either!)
Confidence is an Inside Job.
The fact is that real inner confidence comes from the inside out. It is not about being aggressive or a bully. It is a belief in your own abilities and a trust in yourself. It is also knowing that you are an ‘OK’ person and knowing that you have the right to be yourself – even if other people don’t approve!
When I am speaking at conferences or events, I often liken real confidence to being like a rock inside of you. That rock remains steady, grounded and stable regardless of the situation you are faced with.
A huge part of being a confident person is caring enough about your own wellbeing and emotions. You see when you really care about feeling good, you will make better choices and decisions which in turn, will boost your inner confidence.
The good news is that it doesn’t matter how long someone may have lacked confidence or have been struggling with confidence. The truth is that each and every one of us can learn to build up a strong inner confidence muscle. It is more about encouraging and soothing your fears, than pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. It is about owning your power and tuning into your own confidence preferences rather than following societies expectations of what makes a confident person.
It’s is about being authentic to yourself. Now that is confidence!
Sydney Life Coach, Lisa Phillips
Lisa Phillips is a Sydney Life Coach, Career Coach and Confidence Coach based in Australia. With over 20 years experience, Lisa has a unique and renowned talent for helping all her clients increase their self esteem, confidence and self belief. Lisa is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ – Exile Publishing. To find out more about Lisa, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or to book Lisa to speak at your event, please see www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.
The award winning Confidence Coach works with clients in the Eastern Suburbs and also provides online coaching.
Please also see her Life Coaching Testimonials!