Relationship Break Up?
Last month, I assisted several clients via Skype in Sydney who have recently experienced a relationship break up. I love it how the universe always sends clients who are my perfect mirror as my short term relationship came to an end around the same time!
Relationships are our biggest growth areas and can really bring up areas of past hurts, unmet needs and painful emotions. However, if we look at our relationships as areas for growth, and an opportunity to redefine what we really want, we can use them as a springboard into a new fulfilling relationship reality.
We often ‘ marry or date the parts of ourselves which we disown’ and I see this regularly in my Sydney Life Coaching practice. .
What this means is that your relationship partners ( or anyone else really!) are simply reflecting parts of your own consciousness back to you, giving you an opportunity to really see yourself and ultimately to grow. The qualities you most admire in others are your own and the same goes for those qualities you dislike. To change anything in your relationships, you need to work on yourself from the inside out.
For example, if you believe that you can’t trust other people to honest to you or that relationships don’t last for you, then this belief will simply be mirrored back to you in your personal relationships. As a result, you may find yourself with partners who cheat and lie to you or relationships that don’t last very long.
I had lots of examples of this in my last relationship. Beliefs such as lack of trust, being abandoned, a lack of consistent reciprocal love and feeling second best came to haunt me as I attracted someone into my experience I couldn’t trust to be loyal and treated me like second best! Also, the love wasn’t consistent when he disappeared out of my life very quickly!
However, although a relationship break up can bring up lots of pain, it is a wonderful experience to examine your internal beliefs and more importantly re focus on what you do want in a relationship!
For example, after my own experiences, I worked on and cleared my own beliefs of feeling second best, and also redefined my need to be in a trusting, loyal, consistent, secure relationship. I also worked on raising the vibration of my own needs and wants so moving forward, I was able to trust myself and therefore set better boundaries in relationships. Yes, it took a bit of work but the good news is that I am now in a much better position to attract the relationship I really desire. ( it’s on its way!)
One of the ways we can examine our relationship beliefs and what we are attracting is to look at where we experience ‘difference faces and different places’. By this I mean do you keep attracting a similar ‘ type’ into your life? Are they abusive, unavailable, distant or unfaithful? Are you attracting different people but the fundamentals of the relationship stay the same? If so, it is because they are simply mirroring you! I know this may sound frustrating at first as it is normal human behaviour to want to blame others for our hurts but the truth is everyone is your mirror and you can use this as good news. It actually means that with just a little bit of focus you can start to attract the relationship you really want
If you would like some assistance from Sydney Life Coach Lisa Phillips, please check out her website at www.amazingcoaching.com.au. Lisa has over 18 years experience and is the author of The Confidence Coach Book.