Sound familiar? Ok, it isn’t like you go around telling people that you don’t feel enough on a daily basis, but does this phrase resonate in the deep dark corners of your mind and body? Do you pretend you ‘are enough’ in order to hide the fear that deep down you truly feel you are not enough?
You are not alone. Despite the facade of successful people we see slapped all over social media and the press, this is an extremely common negative belief.
Due to other people’s lives now being instantly streamed into our living rooms, offices and devices, never before has there been the opportunity to compare ourselves unfavourably with other people whether it is their looks, successes, careers or even the holidays they take.
Rock vs. Feather
When I speak at conferences or run workshops for organisations, I regularly speak about our emotions as being like a Rock or a Feather.
When you feel like you are grounded like a rock inside of you, you are less likely to be upset by other people successes. The reason for this is that you feel confident and resilient on the inside and are therefore less likely to be affected by the conditions around you. You are also more likely to hold a strong belief about your own abilities and not feel the need to compete with other people or prove yourself to others. This is real inner confidence.
However, if your emotions are more like a feather, the chances are you will find your emotions being easily ‘blown’ in the wind, changing constantly depending on what situation you find yourself in. It’s a bit like being on that ’emotional rollercoaster’ that many of us so are familiar with. This can result in feelings of resentment towards other people’s success and downplaying of our own.
So how can we stop Feeling that we are not enough?
Start by recognising that this belief is just a thought you keep thinking. The only reason you believe you are not enough, is that you keep on thinking you are not enough. It’s just an old mouldy lie that you have been believing about yourself for a long time. You can take control of this old thought I promise!
The easiest way to free yourself of this belief is to self soothe yourself into a good feeling place. Many of us don’t know how to do this or have never been taught so it may take a little focus each day. The idea is to tap into your inner guidance and find a little relief from this thought. Here are a few ideas:
1) Affirm – Wouldn’t it be nice if I started to feel a little bit better about myself?
2) Affirm – I am finding my own path in life and my own successes.
3) It is also useful to take the time to give yourself some praise about some of your own accomplishments. Please don’t down play these – you deserve your own praise so don’t forget about those unique wonderful things about yourself.
4) Remember that the people you compare yourself with also compare themselves to other people!
5) Remind yourself that there is more right with you than wrong with you and everyone suffers from negative beliefs to a different extent.
Lisa Phillips is a Professional speaker, Facilitator and Confidence Coach based in Sydney Australia. She is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’. For more information, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.au