How to Value Yourself

Do you know how to value yourself?

Our sense of value, our worthiness is this world is shaped when we are just a young child.   We gain our sense of value from how we witness other peoples reactions to us and their behaviour towards us.

As a small child we interpreted our value in this world from interactions with those people around us who we loved and depended upon.  e.g.  Our parents and major caregivers.  If they were angry with us, disappointed with us or didn’t seem to approve of us, we come to believe deep down that ‘ there is something wrong with us’   This becomes our blue print for our life. 

If your parents seemed ‘ too busy’ to listen to you or were not that interested in your opinions, then as a child, you learn that you are ‘ not worthy of their time‘.    You may also feel that you are not special or not as important as other people or just that others things have more importance that you do.

If as a child, you felt your feelings were not validated or there was little encouragement at home, this can lead to a feeling of lack of connection or that people are not really interested in you.

Finally, if you lived in a house hold where verbal, emotional or physical abuse was present,  you may also pick up feelings of shame and guilt, which only add to your feelings of not being valuable or not worthy.

Toxic Emotions

These feelings of shame, guilt and lack of value in this world are toxic.   If not healed, they can lead to a life where you just don’t feel ‘ enough’ or and also end up in relationships where you never feel valued or important.

How to Value Yourself

To start to value yourself in this world, you need to first understand that although you received these beliefs as a child, you don’t have to keep buying into them.     Being able to recognise that this was a fault in your parents ( and probably your parents parents!) and not yourself as a wonderful child, may help you disengage from these beliefs.

The fact is you are equal to everyone else on this planet.  You were born a valuable human being  and although you may have been led to believe your don’t have much value to others, you can start by valuing yourself.

The truth is you are a beautiful, worthy and talented human being.   As an adult, it is now time for you to start to repair that wounded child inside of you.   You can start with reparenting your inner child, becoming the new parent and telling him or her all the things you wished you had heard from your parents.  Tell her she is beautiful, validate her feelings and remind her of her uniqueness.

If you would like to gain more assistance in learning to value yourself, become more confident and increase your self esteem, why not contact Sydney Life Coach Lisa Phillips?   With over 20 years experience,  Lisa is an award winning Life and Confidence expert.  She is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ book.

Contact Lisa at [email protected] for a no obligation chat.    Lisa works with clients all over Australia including Sydney, Brisbane,  Melbourne and NT.    She is available for face to face and Skype sessions.



feeling stuck in life