How to Deal with Bullies
Have you ever had to deal with a Bully? This could be a workplace bully, a family bully or even a relationship or friendship bully?
Taking Back Your Power
If you feel you are being bullied, it is important to Take back your power. This is important as often these types of situations can leave you feeling powerless.
Taking back your power will help you put a plan in place and assist you to feel safe. Although this may feel a little scary, it is not as scary as staying in the toxic situation you are in now. Think about it – What will your life be like if you choose to do nothing? How long are you willing to put up with this situation?
Tips to help you deal with Bullies:
• Do not blame yourself! This is a common reaction to bullying. You do not make the bully behave like they do so quit blaming yourself.
• Confide in someone you trust. In the case of workplace bullying, try talking to a colleague or supervisor. If you feel a family member or partner is bullying you, speak to a friend or relative. Don’t feel ashamed or doubt yourself. Remember – your feelings are real!
• Ask yourself if this is a pattern or just a ‘ one off’? If you keep finding yourself in situations where you are treated disrespectfully, abused or bullied, then it is time to work on your own negative beliefs. Remember, life is a mirror so if you keep having to deal with bullies in your life, then you may be bullying yourself with your self talk. I see this pattern in abusive relationships all the time!
• If you feel it is necessary, document what is going on. Who was there? What happened? How did you feel? Writing things down can help you gain clarity and help validate your feelings.
• Remind yourself that self care and self respect is important. Nobody has the right to bully you – even if it is close family member. It is self respect to take care of yourself and have good boundaries.
• Take some reflection time to get clear on what assertive conversation you would like to have. Write it down if it helps. What would you like to say to this person? What would make you feel better?
• Build up your positive self-talk and mindset before you enter into any dialogue with the person concerned.
• Consider taking a trusted friend or colleague with you for moral support when you speak to the person concerned.
• Use assertive language and clearly describe the behaviour you see the bully exhibiting. Make sure you let them know how their behaviour is impacting you. (this is often a good option with family members.)
• Always make your safety and wellbeing a priority
• Make your self care of prime importance at this time. Nourish yourself daily and don’t blame yourself for what is going on.
Sydney Life Coach Lisa Phillips
Lisa Phillips is an award winning Sydney Life Coach and Confidence expert. Lisa assists people all around the world to release negative emotions, fulfil their goals and increase their self respect, self belief, and self esteem. She is also the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book and has over 20 years experience as a Sydney Life Coach.
To find out how Sydney Life Coaching expert Lisa Phillips can assist you, why not check out her coaching testimonials or contact her at [email protected]hing.com.au for a no obligation chat? Lisa works with clients all over Australia over Skype. She is also the Confidence expert on The Love Destination TV.