I must admit, learning how to build resilience is one of my favourite topics. It is also a very important topic if we don’t want to be at the mercy of our negative beliefs, negative self talk and emotions.
Resilience impacts everyone. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you are, having a good level of resilience inside of you, just makes your life easier and less stressful! Life just feels less bumpy and more in the flow.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
Many of us live our lives on the emotional roller coaster. We don’t find that ‘gentle steadiness‘ inside of us. As a result, we live with our emotions changing up and and down like a roller coaster. Our mood can fluctuate depending on who we are hanging out with, whether we are home or at work or the people we are surrounded by. As a result, we are at the mercy of our emotions.
A lack of resilience make us fearful, worrying about what can go wrong and fearing the worst. It also makes it difficult to bounce back from life’s inevitable twists and turns.
For me, resilience is about having the steadiness of a rock inside of you. Resilience enables you to stand firm and flexible in the knowledge that you can cope when things go wrong. Being resilient gives you the trust, courage and ability to look forward and not get too upset or deflated by things not going according to your plan.
It is the ability to also ‘ let go’ rather than always wishing things had turned out differently.
The Benefits of Resilience
Feeling resilient is also a nicer place to be both in your body and mind! It just feels better! Resilience also gives you a sense of sureness, that even if things are changing around you, you will be ok. It is the ability to trust yourself and take control of your emotions.
Common Traits of Resilient People
1) Trusting that things will work out ok.
2) Having faith that things will work out well in the end.
3) Seeing change as natural and something that they can cope with.
4) Caring about how they feel so they won’t allow themselves to get hung up on ‘what is’.
5) Caring about how they feel so they would prefer to focus on the outcome that they desire.
Here are a few of my top tips on how to build resilience:
- Be kind to yourself – resilience is often about the fear of not being able to cope or the fear of change.
- Soothe and encourage yourself and tell yourself it will all work out.
- Try the affirmation ‘Even though it doesn’t feel like it, everything is working out for me’.
- Question your thought patterns – are you mind reading?
- Ask yourself – What’s the worst that could happen?
Just like confidence, building resilience is like a building up a muscle.
Often the first step is learning to be kinder to ourselves and caring how we feel. It is also being able to recognise that it is our fearful thoughts in our head that cause us to step into, and stay on the emotional roller coaster.
Lisa Phillips is the author of The Confidence Coach.
She is an award winning Life Coach with over 20 years experience assisting people to feel more authentic, have more control of their emotions and become more authentic and confident. Lisa regularly speaks at conferences and runs workshops for organisations on a range of topics including Confidence, Self Empowerment, Resilience and Team Building. To find out more, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or check out her appearances in the media here
Please see here for a Video clip of Lisa Phillips speaking on Royal Caribbean Cruises on the topic of Building Resilience.