We all have different definitions of Healthy Relationships. However, for a relationship to be healthy, it should include some key ingredients.
Having Healthy Relationships starts with YOU.
We all have a story about our relationships. If like me, you have had a past filled with unhealthy relationships, it is easy to place the blame on our partners. We point the finger at our partners, blame them for not loving us how we want to be loved and judge them for how they treated us.
My Relationship Story
I haven’t had many healthy relationships in my past. I have dated narcissists, cheats, liars and unavailable men. All didn’t end well and I have had my heart broken many times. It took a lot of work on myself to stop attracting men who would hurt me. You see it took me to realise one important thing. The standard of relationships in my life mirrored the amount of love I had for myself.
The truth is, that our early programming about love and relationships plays out in all our relationships until it becomes healed. Life is simply reflecting back to you all your beliefs and wounds about relationships.
When we are growing up, we pick up wounds and negative beliefs. For example, if you experienced abandonment as a child, you will hold a wound about people leaving you. You will then get triggered in your relationship and may become needy and insecure, fearing your partner will leave you. If you felt unwanted as a child, you will continue to feel unwanted in your relationships.
If you felt that people around you didn’t approve of you, you will seek partners who give you that illusive tick of approval. If you were abused or neglected as a child, you will be drawn to partners who continue to abuse and neglect you and you may become co-dependant trying to get them to love you. As a result, you will also abuse and neglect your own needs.
Healing our Wounds.
Our wounds send out energy or vibration. Many of our wounds are unconscious. Life is a mirror so we always get back what we are sending out energetically or through our vibration. That’s why we often get stuck in the same old toxic relationship patterns.
Attracting Healthy Relationships
Attracting a health relationship or improving your current relationship takes commitment. It is a commitment to look within at your own relationship wounds and heal them. If you don’t do this, nothing will change.
When you take responsibility to do this, your relationships will change. When you heal your inner wounds and take responsibility for your own patterns, you will start to attract healthy relationships.
Here are some common relationships wounds that I have helped people with:
- Feeling unwanted or unloved
- Attracting unavailable men
- Toxic relationships
- Failing to get your needs met in a relationship
- The belief that relationships are not for you
- Being a ‘caretaker’ or co-dependent
Once you start healing your own wounds and start to love yourself more, your relationships will change. You will feel more deserving of healthy relationships and start behaving and feeling more worthy of a great loving intimate relationship.
If you would like to commit to improving your relationships, why not contact awardm winning Sydney and UK Life Coach Lisa Phillips? Lisa is the author of ‘The Confidence Coach‘ book which includes information on how to release neediness and find more confidence in your relationships. To find out more please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au.