I regularly talk about self praise – It is one of my favourite topics!
Never underestimate the importance of a good pat on the back. In fact, research shows praising yourself on a regular basis speeds up the new habits being embedded in your body and mind. Therefore, if you want to make long lasting change, praising yourself on a regular basis is a great habit!
Is Self Praise Selfish?
When I set the action step of learning to praise yourself with my Life Coaching clients, there is often a lot of resistance! Many believe it is selfish or arrogant.
Unfortunately, many of us are still buying into old negative beliefs both from society and our families, that it is ‘wrong’ in some way to give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back. Many people also don’t believe they deserve to bestow this kindness on themselves. They often believe old phrases such as ‘Self Praise is no praise‘ or ‘Self Praise is no recommendation’.
Contrary to the above beliefs, clients often come to me for Life Coaching as they are desperate for someone outside of themselves to praise them or give them approval. I hear phrases like ‘My boss never gives me positive feedback or ‘, or ‘I never know where I stand‘.
We Seek Praise from Other People
Isn’t it fascinating that we are seeking approval and praise from other people but are not willing to give it to ourselves? In fact, we look for others to validate us through external praise, but are not willing to validate ourselves.
Self Praise and Confidence
Even more importantly for me, is how regular self praise can build up strong self esteem, inner confidence and encourages an increased positive view of self. In addition, self praise actually feels good on the body and will cause you to move ‘downstream‘. (Please see Lisa’s other blogs for information on her Downstream concept).
Giving yourself some well deserved praise and acknowledgement may also prevent you seeking it so desperately from other people. Remember, you cannot ever rely on anyone else to boost your self esteem or give you the validation that you require. If you are continually searching for praise from other people, you will only end up disappointed. To be honest, it is not other peoples responsibility to praise or validate you. However, you can choose right now to give yourself the gift of self praise.
Try these simple methods for increasing your Self Praise
- Gently soothe yourself each day by stating ‘I am doing ok, I am doing well’.
- Start a self praise journal and write 2 things down each evening that you feel you have done well.
- When you look in the mirror, search for something to praise yourself for – it doesn’t have to be related to your body – it could be as simple as congratulating yourself for getting out of bed on time or getting the kids breakfast ready.
Lisa Phillips provides online coaching, Sydney Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching. She is also a fully qualified career coach. She is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach‘ – (Exile Publishing). To find out more about Lisa, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au
Please read her Life Coaching Client Testimonials!