Be yourself around other people.

How easy do you find it to be yourself around other people? Think about it – what is your first reaction when you meet people for the first time or are introduced to a new group of people?

Are you like most of us that try hard to give the best impression we can wishing that other people will like us?    Do you feel better when you feel that someone has given you the illusive tick of approval?

It is a natural human trait to be liked but this may become harmful to our own development when we make a habit of censoring what we say, feel or do, in order to make sure that other people like us.

This recently happened to me in a new relationship I was in.   I so desperately wanted the person to like me that I ended up ignoring my own authentic needs, wants and feelings – just to make sure they continued to like me.

Authentic Intimacy.

When we hide who we are in order to be liked, we hide our own authenticity.   It is only when we give ourselves permission to be honest about who we are, what we like and how we feel that we enter into authentic intimacy.  Intimacy with other people is about loving what you love, saying what you want and doing what you want without the fear of other people disapproving of you, or not liking you. Anything less that this is pushing your own needs and wants aside in order to gain approval from others.

How to be Yourself around other people

  1. Give up the need to worry about what people think of you.   Really, other peoples opinions about you are not that important! What is more important is your own positive view of yourself.   Open your heart  to real authentic conversations – they always feel better!
  2. Stop worrying that people are judging you!   If you are always worried about people judging you – the truth is that you are judging yourself.
  3. Notice how you censor your feelings around people..  Do you just agree what with others have to say or do you just lose your own opinion?  Be aware of how you stuff down your own opinions in order to ensure that you don’t ‘ rock the boat’ with other people.
  4. Relax into being yourself.   Be proud of who you are and remember that it is ok that we are all different with different choices, views and perceptions of life.
  5. Start a journal and identify what your true authentic identify is.  Start with a list of what you do enjoy, and what you don’t enjoy.  Identify your own personal likes and dislikes.

Lisa Phillips is a Sydney Life and Confidence Coach with over 18 years experience.   Featuring frequently in the media, Lisa is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach Book’ ( Exile 2015).  Lisa has also won several awards throughout Australia for her work in assisting people build confidence and self esteem.  To find out more, please see

Sydney Life and Confidence Coach Lisa Phillips appears regulary in the Australian Media

Sydney Life and Confidence Coach Lisa Phillips appears regulary in the Australian Media