How resilient are you? For me, building resilience is about learning to cope through life’s ups and downs and being able to bounce back, even in difficult times. It is about viewing hardships as an obstacle to overcome rather than something that takes over your life and you feel has defeated you. Building Resilience is a quality that allows people to get knocked down and they come up even more determined than before. I
Do you let other people upset you all the time or are you able to cope with conflict in a healthy manner? Do you allow little setbacks to put you in a bad mood all day?
Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient. These include a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback.
Here are a few of my top tips for building resilience:
Create a Self-Care Life
Start to care whether you feel good or bad. It really is your own choice how you choose to look at things. Recognise that dwelling on issues will only make you feel worse so decide to let them go. Spend time looking after your own emotional well-being and make it your first priority to feel good. Even if someone around is having a hard time, you don’t need to soak it up. Spend time doing things you enjoy and that make you feel good. Surround yourself with friends who lift you up rather than beat you up!
Our friends can assist us in feeling resilient but choose wisely. Spend your time with people who can see how fabulous you are and won’t feed any negative or ‘victim’ feelings you may be experiencing. The best friends are those that will lift you up when you may be feeling down.
Encourage and Soothe Yourself
Self-talk is a huge part of building resilience.. If things go wrong, what do you tell yourself? Do you blame others or yourself? Do you tell yourself that things will never be the same again and that you won’t be able to cope? Do you think that if something doesn’t go according to plan that it is a major disaster? This is just victim thinking. Change your self talk to encourage yourself and acknowledge that although you may be struggling right now, things will turn out ok in the end.
Meditation is a great tool for stress and building resilience. There is no right or wrong way of meditating. Start with 5 minutes a day and watch your stress levels take a dive.
Examine your own emotional hijacks
People who are less resilient tend to fly of the handle quickly and suffer from ‘emotional hijacks’. If this is you, identify what the trigger is. What is it that makes you react in this way? What is it that causes you to ‘flip your switch’? Remember, the way we choose to react has nothing to do with anyone else – we have a choice to how we react to any situation. Take a look within and work out what your own triggers are.
Do you need some more help on taking care of yourself or building resilience? Lisa Phillips is an award winning Sydney based Life and Confidence Coach. She is also the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book. To find out more about how Sydney Life and Confidence Coach can help you, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au